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LP:  I realize this is a real subjective and industry-oriented decision, but how long should a sales cycle be?  How long before you realize you’re not getting the sale, and maybe just go for a referral?  Because in this economy, in any economy, time is money.

LD:  This is true.   If you feel like you are not making any progress, if you’re not getting those interim commitments along the way, and you really feel like you’re getting stalled, the classic question is, “What can I do to get you to consider this?”  And that’s a subtle way of saying, “Is this a yes or no?”  And if they don’t give you a yes or no there, or don’t give you the information that you need, then you might want to step it up a notch.  “Do you think we can work together?  What are the obstacles, and is there anything I can do about them?”   And get a yes or no.  And if it’s no, thank them for their time, I appreciate the input, tell them you’ll stay in touch – and if you say that you better do it – and then move on.  It doesn’t necessarily mean that this will not be someplace you can go later.  I don’t look at anyone as saying I can’t sell to them.  I look at them to say, what do they need?  I want to find out who do they know.  And I step right up to the plate and say, “What do you need?”  And I spend most of my time in a sales presentation not presenting at all.  I asking tons of questions, and I’m listening to the answers, and I’m offering some of the people I know. 

 I run a networking group in town, the Boston chapter of Company of Friends, through Fast Company magazine, so I spend a lot of time putting people together.  I find that with a customer or prospect, if I can introduce them to somebody who plays on one of their interests, or who can help them, without asking for anything in exchange, the number of meetings I get with them increases.  I offer things right out of the gate without asking for very much.  I probably don’t pitch my services until the third or fourth encounter.  It may sound a little strange, but the fact is, people don’t feel insulted at that point.  And by then, I have learned so much information about them, I am now speaking to them in their language, using the words that they use, talking about their issues, and I’m providing some options for them at dealing with their issues, because I spent the time to hear what they’re doing, before I ever say, “I’m Lisa Dennis, and here are the things I can do for you.”

 LP:  So what you’ve just given us is a blow-by-blow of what building a relationship really is.  

 LD:  Absolutely.  Jeff and Jan are really a great example.  Jan Twombly and I met four or five years ago.  I was working with a client, and he brought Jan and the company she was running at the time, to come in and do some work with us.  Although that deal ultimately did not come to fruition, I got a call from Jan out of the blue six months later, to say, “You know, we should get together and have lunch.  I’m not sure why yet, but you’re interesting, and I think we should do that.”  And we’ve had dinners and lunches for years, to figure out we knew we wanted to work together, and to figure out how.  And as they moved into the work that they’re doing now, and I moved more into the independent consulting and networking stuff, it became very obvious, and she called me up and said, “I figured it out!”  And now I am doing seminar development for them, and helping them work with a potential prospect, they’ve introduced me to other clients, and it’s been a very, very worthwhile relationship. 

 So just because you don’t know exactly what’s going to be delivered from that relationship today, doesn’t mean that there’s not some real value there.  And it’s turned into dollars. 

LP: So if you don’t sell yourself until later on in the relationship, what do you give or offer to a prospect in the meantime, that isn’t going to take too much of your time, or your financial stash, as it were?

LD:  Access to other people that may be helpful to their current endeavor.  I provide them with information about other companies that have tried to address a similar issue.  Case studies.   I have a stash of articles that I pass on.   I invite them to go to a meeting with me, that might be in their interest area.  I take them to lunch or to dinner.  And sometimes you can really link in with someone quickly,  It’s really about listening skills. 

LP: I want to get into that, because I know you’re going to talk at SBANE about that.  What are some of the key attributes around listening for opportunities?

LD: Really, what you’re trying to listen for, are things that they are either struggling with right now, or a question they are trying to get answered, or that they really don’t have the resources for this right now.   I always perk up when someone tells me they don’t have the resources.  Now some people would translate that into, “They don’t have any money.”  Not necessarily.  They may not have internal resources, or be sure how to fund it, so you’re really trying to get a view of what it is they are working on.  If they’re doing something that you don’t understand very well, or even heard of before, then ask them about it. 

I focus my approach on the number one thing about human nature: people, given a choice, would rather talk about things that concern or interest them.  I think a lot of people are feeling like they are being sold to, especially in this market, because they’re desperate.  So your ability to ask, and listen, rather than sell to them, is probably the most important thing you can do. 

I give somebody a chance to tell me their story, and I keep asking questions and take notes on what they are saying, and keep my mouth shut. I listen to them, and respond in a meaningful way, either on the spot or to say, “I’ve got some things I really would like to get to you.  I’ve got to give it a little thought; let me get back to you.”  That, by the way, is a small close.  If I get them to meet again tomorrow, I’ve just closed the next step in the process.

LP:  So you consider everything a close.

LD:   Yes, I do. 

LP:  You’re right; people are feeling desperate out there, so they are jumping to the money, the close as it were, and people on both sides of the table are feeling deperate, both the seller and the sellee.  The people being sold to don’t feel like they have the resources, so they don’t want to feel like they’re being conned or forced into anything.  And people who are selling are feeling desperate: “I’ll give you anything!  I’ll double the offer!  What can I do to make the sale?”  And that’s a very sad market to be in.

LD:  It is.  And prospects are wary now, because they know that.  They know that everyone is trying to push, and that everyone is struggling in the sales department, and they are wary of getting that pitch.  

There’s a story I tell at seminars around this topic.  When I was a kid, around sixth grade, I got into the nasty habit of telling everyone in the neighborhood about everything that went on in my house.  If anyone had a bad day in my house, or my parents had an argument, my entire neighborhood knew about it.  Why?  Because I wanted people to think I was interesting, I wanted to get the attention.  After my mother got the drift, after getting some calls from the neighborhood moms, she sat me down and said, “Lisa, you do not have to tell everyone everything you know.” 

Now, as a salesperson, think about that.  You really want to tell a prospect everything you know about the product, and how smart you are, how great the product is, how wonderful it is… me, me, me, me, me!  Nobody cares.  I really believe that.  Nobody cares.   Instead, I have to be able to convince you that I understand YOU.  When you look at me, you should see your face, not mine.  Listening does that.  Listening, note taking, asking questions, coming back with things that relate directly to things that they've said… and THEN you can move into more of a presentation, by saying things like, “Have you considered doing it this way?” Or “Have you considered these options?”  Or, “You know, I once worked with someone with a similar problem.”  And then give a quick thumbnail of how you worked it out. 

Then, the prospect may ask, “Maybe you could talk to us about how we could approach this?” or “Do you think you can help us?”  When I hear someone ask me that question, I know that they have been heard.  They got heard to the extent that they are willing to listen to me now.   It’s all about having the patience to wait for that. 

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